the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Houston, we have a blender
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
