Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
