So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think people are normalizing furries
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
