There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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