I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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