2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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