Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
