yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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