My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
