he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize