they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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