we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
