The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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