i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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