Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
