just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
