I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I smell like Dick and happiness
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize