btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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