what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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