if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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