I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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