Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize