I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize