Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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