my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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