Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
