My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
