marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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