if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
