Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
