I heard we made out
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
