how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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