...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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