Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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