i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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