Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
