And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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