I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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