I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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