so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
