I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
