Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
