I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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