I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
