you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
