I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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