Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize