I'm really into asian looking animals
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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