Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
