Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
