dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
