is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
