Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
