i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
