i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
