Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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