Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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